


conflicted.

by helveticaraiser



Category: RWBY
Genre: F/F, i finished this at 11 pm ok idc abt errors. just know that im gay and sad, im depressed and i love bees
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-24 10:55:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13212288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helveticaraiser/pseuds/helveticaraiser
Summary: Forever Fall brought calm to many, but not to Blake. It reminded her of both good and bad times, which filled her with anxiety. What was even worse, though, was that she had ran into someone she had been dreading to face for months.





	conflicted.

**Author's Note:**

> again i finished this at 11 pm and i dont have the energy to like.. proofread.. but its sad and gay let me have a pass.  
> say this is like... pre-volume 4 or just an au. idc i just love these two. enjoy

Forever Fall brought calm to many, but not to Blake. It reminded her of both good and bad times, which filled her with anxiety. What was even worse, though, was that she had ran into someone she had been dreading to face for months.

Blake didn’t have to look at her to know—her motorcycle was instantly recognizable.

There was an awkward silence. No, it wasn’t awkward—not to Yang at least. It was maddening, suffocating, _terrifying_. To Blake, the silence was not only awkward, but filled her with guilt. They were both sure-yet-not-so-sure that they both loved each other, in a way that they had never loved before, a way that frightened yet excited them.

Yang didn’t know what to do. She balled up her fists, filling them with her many conflicted emotions and thoughts _. I wanna throw you against a wall, I wanna yell at you, I wanna ask you why, why, **why** did you have to leave me behind, I wanna hold you and kiss you and run my hands down your—_

Blake. Her _on-and-off-again-not-sure-if-we’re-friends-with-benefits-or-we’re-really-dating_ also known has her **teammate**. Her sole confidant. Her heartbreaker. Her lover. Her ex. Pick one, Yang. Was it possible to love and hate someone at the same time? If so, was it supposed to hurt you so bad that you were confused not only about your feelings for your significant other, but your feelings about yourself as well? Was this really hate, or was it just pent up anger?

_None of it makes sense, none of this makes any goddamn sense, why can’t I make up my mind, why do you do this to me—_

“I don’t have an excuse.” Blake says, her voice tight. What is she holding back? What are you trying to say to me? “I just know that I’m tired of running away. I’m running back to you now. I’m—” Her eyes dart to the side, obviously having some inner conflict. “That was—I—Can I start over?” Blake finally forces herself to meet Yang’s eyes, who had her arms crossed and obviously wasn’t too eager to see her. The blonde nods, leading Blake to let out a sigh of relief.

The faunus straightens her posture. “I left you because I don’t like taking responsibility. I’m scared of reality, Yang. I’m scared of _you_.”

Yang raises and eyebrow, her arms folded. “And what exactly does that mean? You scared of being lashed out on? I don’t blame you, I mean—ha, when I found out you left, I never hated someone more. I thought to myself, ‘Next time I see her, she’s a fuckin’ goner’—” It was a lot more vulgar than that, and included countless holes in her bedroom wall and more than her fair share of tear-stained pillows, but that didn’t matter right now. “But I let go. You left me in the past, I did the same to you. I ran from my pain.”

Yang, who had been sitting upon the seat of her motorcycle the entire time, began to slowly step toward the other, Blake taking a step back every time she got closer. She let out a shaky sigh, and stopped, letting Yang get so close to her that their noses nearly touched. The faunus resisted the urge to caress the other’s face and spill the regrets that were bottled within her. Kisses and touches wouldn’t heal the pain, though. Even if the two were able to step past it, the wounds would still be there. Yang’s missing arm was an ever-present reminder of that. She whispers, her voice sounding like it’s on the verge of breaking any second now, “What I mean is that I—I was scared of seeing the pain on your face. Even if I stayed, it wouldn’t have changed the fact that what happened to you—what happened to Beacon—was all my fault. If I had never left Adam behind and just held strong, I wouldn’t have met you, and I wouldn’t have put you and Ruby and Weiss and—and everyone else in so much danger. You all would’ve been safer without me arou—”

“—Stop the pity party already!” The blonde’s eyes had turned red in an instant as she pushed Blake back, who had lost her balance and fell onto the ground, only to sit up with tears in her eyes. “In the end, you would’ve still been there with me! I wouldn’t have cared if Adam tore me apart limb from limb, because you’d still be beside me like you used to be, and I wouldn’t have felt so alone! You hurt me more than Adam ever did!”

Tears streamed down the blonde’s cheeks, her shouts of anger—no, a cry of her bottled up pain—echoing throughout the forest of red leaves. Blake responded with the same amount of volume, resisting the want to cry as well. “And I’m sorry, okay!? Like I said I don’t have any excuses—”

“—You do! You’re making them right now! Why couldn’t you just stay and deal with whatever life decided to hurl at us!? Why couldn’t you just face it!? Why did you have to leave me!?” Yang shouted back even louder. Her voice had cracked midway, showing that there wasn’t just anger—there was so much pain that she was unable to handle on her own anymore.

Ah.

She fell to her knees, her body shaking as sobs escaped from her. “Everybody—” She whispers, watching as she balled her artificial hand into a fist. “Everyone… Mom… Even Ruby… Everyone keeps leaving me behind. What did I do? Why does everyone leave me on my own, as if I have enough experience to answer the hundreds—no, _thousands_ of questions that I have!? What the hell am I supposed to do on my own!?” Yang wasn’t sure who she was asking this to. Blake? Herself? A holy being that resided in the skies, the one who cursed her with this tragedy called fate?

Her mind was blank. The only thing she could do was cry, cry, and cry. And the only thing Blake could do was wrap her arms around the other as tightly as she could, letting Yang let out all her feelings onto the faunus’s shoulder. They stayed like for a while, and eventually Yang’s arms had found their way around Blake. Her cries quieted, and eventually a silence had settled, with only an occasional call of a bird or a rustle within the trees. The two slowly released each other, with Yang’s hands finding their way to Blake’s face. Oh, how badly Blake wanted to make their lips meet, to feel the love that they held onto so dearly before, but just being able to feel the girl’s warmth was enough to make her melt.

“Yang, I—” The faunus starts, slowly closing the space between them.

“Don’t. Please.” The blonde responds, her hands withdrawing from the other’s face. There was a small silence, which was just enough time for Yang to come to her senses for a moment. “I need to go find Ruby.” She stands up and swiftly turns around, making her way back to her motorcycle. As much as Blake wanted to stop her, she also had other business to attend to. She had to go home.

As the engine purred, Yang looked at Blake once more, who has also stood up and looked at the girl with a tender expression. “I don’t forgive you. I don’t know if I’m anywhere close to forgiving you,” She sighs, her face hard to read. “I’m glad I saw you, I guess. It taught me that I need time to heal, however long that’ll take, and that I…”

Blake’s face didn’t show it, but her ears did—they shifted slightly in confusion. “Nevermind,” The blonde answers, as she pulls out her sunglasses and puts them on. “See you on the flip side, Blake.”

And without another word, she took off, leaving Blake behind.

“Yeah… See you.”


End file.
